Why Is It So Hard to Share?

I was looking for a site for the skip at the Fitchat Street Bridge when a man came along the bank of the river and prepared to throw an entire lemon tree into the river.

“Please don’t!” I said. “We’re bringing a skip tomorrow and if you leave the tree right there, where you are, we can put it into the skip. But,” I went on, “this tree still has lovely lemons on it. Why are you throwing it away?”

“Because,” he said, “I’m sick and tired of people climbing over my fence and stealing the lemons.” So he’d cut it down – now NO one – not even he – would have any lemons. Everyone would be a loser.

I understood some of his predicament. When we lived in a house with a beautiful, bountiful plum tree whose laden branches hung over the garden wall into the street, we had a similar problem – broken tree branches, children climbing over the razor-wired wall (at great risk to themselves), endless requests to come and pick plums, which often resulted in more broken branches. The constant interruptions make work almost impossible, and I was close to hating the entire human race. 

But there were more plums than we could ever eat or use. What to do?

Negotiate. That’s what we did. With the children (and other passers-by) we agreed on a sign that we put on our gate:

 It worked very well. And we got to know many of the children – and the adults that came with them.

Water – that precious resource on which we all depend – also has to be shared.

SO … why is sharing so hard?

1. It takes time and patience – and willingness by all parties to be fair.
2. It takes trust by all parties, and trust grows slowly – it’s also broken very easily.
3. Then, there are always the internal questions – does the other person value this as much as I do? Will they waste it? Spoil it? Break it? Pollute it?